Just Another Day
Today is the first day of school in our area but for us, it’s just another day. My news feed is clogged with photos of eager children ready for a fresh start; big smiles, tidy haircuts, clean running shoes and new clothes and back packs. In the days leading up to this first day of school, I read about mother’s ideas for managing the daunting task of packing lunches and have viewed countless photos of home baked goodies and packed lunch boxes ready for the morning.
In the past, this day represented a lot of things to me none of which resembled hope, anticipation and excitement for a new beginning. Instead, this day was bittersweet as I watched the children walking by on their way to school. It didn’t help that our back yard was (is) attached to the far end of the school field and so for ten months, our days were (are) peppered with the sound of recess bells and children laughing and shouting on the playground…… a daily, deafening reminder that we were on a whole other path.
Long ago, we resigned to the fact that Meredith would likely not attend school. There are many reasons why and we have given this much thought. Our team of specialists broach the subject carefully and at this time have been told to put it aside and to trust that we will bring it up if we ever feel Meredith is ready and able to attend school. In the meantime, we do not wish to discuss it further.
Last night we sat on our back deck, as we often do this time of year, and shared mojitos and food with our friends. They are childless and so staying up past midnight on the night before school starts had the same effect on them as it had on us which was next to nothing. Aside from our relief worker coming in an hour later in order to get her own kids off to school, today was like any other day in our lives.
But there was one noticeable difference.
For the first time since Meredith was of age to attend school, I am not filled with grief and “what-could-have-been’s.” For the first time, today really is, just another day.